If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

VIFF REVIEW: BY DARREN ZAKUS

October 16, 2025

3 OUT OF 5 STARS

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You showcases a career best performance from Rose Byrne who is intoxicating in every single frame of this pressure cooker of a film exploring motherhood and mental health, even if there is too much going on at times in the latest film from Mary Bronstein to make it a complete homerun.

Stories about motherhood have always been present in cinema, but in recent years, these films have been unafraid to show a more vulnerable side to motherhood that fully embraces all sides to it, both the joy and the darkness. Thematically similar to last year’s Nightbitch starring Amy Adams, though taking a far darker and more intense approach compared to Nightbitch’s more playful tone, Mary Bronstein’s If I Had Legs I’d Kick You turns the pressures of motherhood into a heart pounding and relentless cinematic experience that will leave audiences stressed and filled with anxiety after watching it. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival this year and winning the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance at this year’s Berlin International Film Festival for Rose Byrne’s lead performance, the film is finally releasing in theatres. Without question, Byrne’s stellar performance as Linda more than lives up to the incredible hype surrounding it, and actually surpasses it with a brilliant performance that is the linchpin of the entire film, though Bronstein’s screenplay, while effective in letting Linda’s overwhelming situation wash over the audience, packs too many ideas which prevents some subplots from being fully realized on screen.

For years Byrne has been delivering excellent performances across all genres, from killer comedic turns in films like Instant Family and Spy, delivering some serious chills in the Insidious series, or even being part of great ensembles in films like Sunshine and The Place Beyond the Pines. But, she is on a whole other level in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You as Linda, a mother stretched to her extreme limits caring for her sick daughter. Immediately from the first scene, aided by close up camera shots that prevent viewers from taking their eyes off her, Byrne conveys Linda’s anguish through her facial expressions, body language and tone of voice as she is caring for her sick daughter without her husband who is away for work. As the story progresses, Linda’s circumstances only become more dire as her life spins out of control and her mental health deteriorates, with Byrne baring her entire soul with a vulnerability and rawness that allows her to fully embody Linda. While absolutely messy in the entirety of the film, which is meant as the greatest compliment as Linda is a complex character pushed to her breaking point and beyond during the film, Byrne soars and underscores her entire performance with a motherly compassion that ensures that while Linda herself is spiralling, there is no question she would do absolutely anything for her daughter to make her better. This guarantees that the concept of motherhood which is at the centre of the film and creates its beating heart is never lost for a second, ensuring that Bronstein’s commentary around parenting sticks the landing. It is an absolutely phenomenal performance that is a tour de force from start to finish, which should all but guarantee that by January we will now always be referring to Byrne as “Academy Award nominee Rose Byrne.”

Byrne is firing on all cylinders and is the entire film, but there are some notable supporting performances to accompany hers. Conan O’Brien, in his dramatic feature debut, is exquisite as Linda’s unnamed therapist, doing so much by not speaking to hold Linda accountable and forcing both her and the audience to reflect on her actions. There are moments of levity and comedy in his performance, highlighting his talents that viewers know him for, but there is also an undeniable dramatic weight that makes him the perfect scene partner for Byrne, leading to some of the film’s most vulnerable moments. Christian Slater is effective as Linda’s husband Charles, even if he is only largely present in voice only; Danielle Macdonald is a great contrast for Byrne, portraying another mother struggling with the pressures of parenthood; and while A$AP Rocky shows that he has talent as an actor, the role of James does not give him nearly enough to truly shine.

In her writing, Bronstein throws incredibly stressful situations at both Linda and the audience to create the insurmountable pressure that causes Linda to lose control of her life. From a collapsed sealing in her apartment forcing her to live out a motel, problematic therapy clients who overstep the professional boundary, an absent husband, irritating parental support groups, and many more, there is a lot happening on top of Linda’s daughter being sick that lead to some wild moments throughout the film, most notably one of the most shocking, deranged yet hilarious scenes of the year involving a pet hamster. While each subplot serves the purpose of overwhelming Linda and submersing the audience in the volumes of problems faced by Linda, there are frankly too many subplots at play that prevent each of them from being given the dedication and focus within the screenplay to fully develop them. This prevents them from having a truly profound impact on the audience and Linda, most notably with Linda’s relationship with her neighbour at the hotel played by A$AP Rocky, which if there had been fewer subplots at play, the film would have been narratively stronger. Though, Bronstein never sugarcoats the film, putting difficult to swallow moments in front of the audience, including many choices made by Linda which make her a tough protagonist to warm up to. But despite this intentional writing choice, there is an undeniable sympathy for Linda that the audience is able to latch onto as no one ever wants to see a parent struggle this much to look after their child.

One of the more interesting stylistic choices of the film revolves around Linda’s daughter. Not only is her daughter’s face not shown except for one scene, she is never given a name nor is the cause of her illness revealed. The only information revealed about her daughter is what she needs to accomplish to end the treatment she is undergoing or the consequences of failing to do so. It’s an effective choice at times by Bronstein, as it allows the audience’s sympathies to be centered on Linda and not her sick daughter, which could easily happen once her daughter is fully shown on screen. But at the same time, this makes Linda’s daughter’s presence come across as a nagging nuisance as her voice pierces through the film, constantly crying and creating problems for Linda. While this has the intended effect of increasing the tension for Linda, it is an annoyance for the audience that could unintentionally decrease their care for the child, which should never be the case for a sick child, and dampens the powerful reveal of her daughter’s face at the film’s conclusion.

With a performance from Rose Byrne that towers over the entire film and makes up for any of its narrative shortcomings, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is easily one film that any award season followers will want to check out. With every aspect of the film designed to overwhelm both the audience and Linda, creating an undeniable panic inducing tension that characterizes the entire, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You despite juggling too many subplots gives Rose Byrne the material to give an all encompassing performance of a lifetime that is worth the price of admission alone.